I'm sure you've heard by now about the curious case of QR Markham, a debut author whose book has been pulled because it's been discovered he plagiarized a good portion of it from other authors. When I read that I had to smile, because it's another victory for the glorious publishing system. Yes, besides the fact that agents are only interested in reading shit, the System also publishes (or nearly so) plagiarized works! Because really Markham's book got all the way through the querying, through the editing, and pretty much onto the shelves before anyone realized what was going on.
What this tells me, and should remind most people of, is that the System is not infallible. It's very, very fallible. Remember James Frey? The System thought his book was nonfiction--until people discovered it was fiction. Those mid-to-low list authors, agents, and publishers who thumb their noses at self-publishers because they weren't good enough for the System should keep the Markham case in mind. The System makes mistakes. It isn't perfect. So just because the System rejected someone isn't an instant way of proving that they aren't any good. Because apparently plagiarists are good enough.
Which makes me think that if you want to get ahead in the System you should just plagiarize a bunch of books into a stupid high concept idea. So I'll just slightly reword Lord of the Rings into Black Lord of the Rings and then Donald Maass will start returning my phone calls.
But to reference my futile rebellion post, if the System did accept me, would I gleefully accept it? Hell yes! I would sing its praises off the mountaintops. Since it won't, it's of slight comfort to realize again how lame the System can be.
Now of course the System isn't always wrong. Often the System is right. If you get rejected by it, you might actually suck. It's hard to know for sure sometimes.
BTW, I poached a lot of the ideas for this post from the "American Dad" episode where Stan Smith finds out the System (the Homeowner's Association) is actually very fallible when put in the wrong hands, those of ne'er do well alien Roger. So now you know...and knowing is half the battle! (Which I plagiarized from GI JOE.)
'Knowing is half the battle' came from GI Joe? Crap, I thought that was the NBC ads they did that back in the 80's. They said something similar. Maybe they can sue GI Joe and get all those episodes pulled from syndication/dvd shelves.
ReplyDeleteYou're right though. The system only sucks when you're outside of it, trying to get in... I told you the other day though, people are dicks, they want to keep people not already 'in'...out.
And James Frey, he sure did get his cumupins, didn't he? After getting his own book pulled, he started up a sweatshop publishing house and has made untold millions on ignorant, desperate, wanna-be writers that agree to write for almost nothing, then sign away all their rights so they are left entirely out of the movie deals and such.
But, he's not actively lying anymore. Turns out you don't have to. Just say, "hey, I'm gonna take all your work, make up a fake name, sell it for millions, and give you $200 bucks." People have been lining up for it ever since.
So weird.
NBC's slogan was I think "The More You Know" which I only remember from watching Family Guy reruns.
ReplyDeleteLast night's episode of The Simpsons had a great parody of the James Frey-style sweatshop. Which I've always thought of as like those starving artist paintings that are mass-produced.
Master of the Shiny Circles. :) No?
ReplyDeleteRE: This and your volunteering post that I went and read, too.
ReplyDeleteYou don't have to volunteer to make a difference, and it doesn't have to be charity. I recommend people volunteer for stuff because it gets you out of your ordinary life-cycle. I do all kinds of crap for people every day, helping them out (sometimes) but I still volunteer because it makes me stop being a jerk with a law degree and start being a guy who'll smile at someone and say "Merry Christmas!" and offer their kid a sucker when they walk by the bell ringing. I don't even know what the Salvation Army DOES, for Pete's sake. I just go spend 2 hours a year doing that.
As for the autism volunteering, I do that because of Mr F and Mr Bunches, of course, but even before that I knew about McHale and Mateo Shaw, who you can find on my blogs and/or can read about online, and I used to try to raise money for them all the time, not because I knew I would someday have kids with special needs but because I felt they needed it.
I don't go organize Recall Walker rallies, but I write about him and sign petitions and I ran for judge.
That's all by way of reiterating that you don't have to join the Peace Corps to be a good person. You're really good at writing, and really good at giving writing tips. What about forming a workshop to give writers tips in your hometown? What about volunteering at the library, or donating some books to the library? Those are things you seem like you'd be good at and you'd be helping out. Or teach a class at a local college and make some money while you help people out. I've learned a lot about writing reading your blogs. (I don't apply it, but that's because I'm lazy). You could help a lot of people that way.
Or: Just spend time with your friends and family. That's the best kind of charity.
It might help cheer you up; you seem down these days.
The system is corrupt as well. James Frey first tried to sell his book as a novel and was soundly rejected because agents didn't think it plausible. He only sold it after his agent convinced him it was more marketable as a memoir. People in the industry certainly knew this was a fraud. But this doesn't seem to have hurt Mr. Frey at all.
ReplyDelete@Briane P: I already donate most of my books to the library. Not because I'm a good person, but because I don't want to clutter my shelves. I think I wrote a post on the old blog about that. Generally I think people like writing tips better when they come from someone who's had some success. It gives you more credibility. So ironically despite how evil James Frey is, people would probably believe him more about writing than would believe me.
ReplyDeleteActually I'd love to read Frey's tips on how to lie and cheat your way to the top of the bestseller list.
@Stephen: When I read "A Million Little Pieces" I didn't find it very true. Not just true in the sense of it happening, but true in the sense of as a reflection of reality in general. The characters felt like cliches, as did some of the situations. But a lot of the public is gullible, like all those people who saw "The Blair Witch Project" thinking it was real.
ReplyDelete@Briane: I support autism cause my friend Briane has two autistic children who are incredibly cute.
ReplyDeleteBut I did anyway because it is also my job.
@mutt: The system of publishing is only out to make money. They don't care about integrity...never did. I honestly think that some of the big people in the book business probably don't read. Imagine that...working and drawing down a huge salary in a publishing house and then not reading? Yep...I bet there are more than you know doing that. And it goes for agents too...I bet there are agents who don't read, yet, they represent books (and secretly harbor a desire to be authors so are writing the next bestseller while representing one).
Okay, so I had a comment, but, by the time I finished reading the other comments and got interrupted by my kids twice, I forgot what it was. If I remember, I'll come back.
ReplyDelete