- Miracle on 34th Street
- It's A Wonderful Life
- A Christmas Story (mostly thanks to Ted Turner)
It seems most Christmas movies are the forgettable variety like Jingle All the Way, Christmas With the Kranks, Surviving Christmas, Santa Claus: The Movie, Jack Frost, Ernest Saves Christmas, Harold & Kumar's Christmas, Scrooged, the five thousand versions of A Christmas Carol, Deck the Halls, Four Christmases, Marley & Me, Fred Claus, Arthur Christmas, the other Santa Clause movies besides the first one. I'm sure I'm forgetting a bunch, which is my point.
Then there are some really woeful ones like Santa Claus Conquers the Martians that definitely should have got everyone involved a lump of coal, unless you appreciate them ironically like when this was on MST3K.
Being a Grumpy Bulldog, though, my favorite Christmas movie anymore is Bad Santa from 2003:
If you're not familiar with the movie, it stars Billy Bob Thornton, Lauren Graham, and the late Bernie Mac and John Ritter. Thornton plays a safe cracker named Willie with a serious drinking problem. Every year he plays Santa at a department store where with his "elf," an evil black midget, they rob the place on Christmas Eve, swiping all the cash from last minute shoppers, plus some other goodies too.
Their latest target is Phoenix. Willie meets a weird fat kid named Thurmon Mermon and eventually comes to stay in the kid's mansion since the kid's guardian is his senile grandma (Cloris Leachman). While at first Willie enjoys using the hot tub to fuck his new girlfriend--a bartender with a Santa fetish--and drive the kid's dad's Mercedes an such, eventually he finds himself starting to actually care about the kid.
What I like about the movie is that beneath all the raunchy humor--cursing, screwing, crotch punching, midget jokes, gay jokes, fat woman fucking jokes--the movie has a heart. Like A Christmas Carol it's a redemption story, but it's not so sappy and implausible as with Scrooge. I mean Willie might stop robbing department stores and maybe ease up on the drinking a little, but he's not going to turn into Ned Flanders.
Of course you really have to watch this on DVD or On Demand with all the cussing and stuff intact. It's just not any fun otherwise. But definitely don't let your kids watch this; it's strictly for the grown ups. And really, you doesn't need a break from all the hokey It's A Wonderful Life bullshit?
The Holiday Hits series concludes tomorrow (hooray!) with a comparison between my novel and a famous Christmas special. So strap in and prepare for gratuitous product placement!
I've never seen Bad Santa. Been meaning to for a long time. Maybe this will be the year. Is it on Netflix streaming?
ReplyDeleteIt does not appear to be on the Netflix streaming. For $2.99 you can rent it from Amazon's streaming. Or if you have cable/satellite it might be On Demand, especially this time of the year. Or sometimes Comedy Central will show it late at night with the swearing still in--check your local listings!
ReplyDeleteI love Bad Santa. You're right, good "Christmas" themed movies are hard to find.
ReplyDelete"It's a Wonderful Life" was directed by Frank Capra which could be a discussion all to itself. His films were simplistic and idealistic which (by inclusion here in your list) might be what you long for in a good Xmas yarn.
I enjoy the original Miracle on 34th street much more than the remake. I think it was done better and who could do a better job at Santa Claus than Burl Ives?
I think there are some really good animated Xmas movies. The original Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and some of the others like Santa Claus is coming to town (featuring claymation). I really liked those as a kid.
I didn't like the Polar Express. Can Gremlins be considered a Christmas movie? I think it has really strong Christmas themes and the story is really strong.
Anyway...that's my two cents.
I HATE "It's A Wonderful Life" (more discussion on that Thursday) but there's no denying it's a classic Christmas film. I mean it was made in the 40s and they still show it every year.
ReplyDeleteI liked the remake of "Miracle on 34th Street" (the '90s version because I think there might have been a couple remakes before then) if only because the courtroom scene made more sense to me where the lawyer holds up a dollar bill and says if the US government can believe in "God" then New York can believe in Santa. I should ask Pagel though which legal argument made more sense.
And XMas specials is tomorrow's topic so I won't say anything about that.
Wait a minute...you forgot Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and Santa Claus is Coming to Town - I love claymation.
ReplyDeleteAs far as I know those are TV specials, not movies. TV specials are tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteAnother movie to add to your list is "One Magic Christmas" from 1985. This movie was deemed too dark when it came out and didn't make much of a splash, but I think it's great. It also has the best "Santa" on film. Check it out.
ReplyDeleteEdmund Gwenn played Santa in the original Miracle on 34th Street, not Burl Ives, he was the snowman in Rudolph. Which Grumpy Bulldog SHOULD have known since he loves Rudolph so much. This is Shanny Bear by the way.
ReplyDeleteAlso, there's only like 200 versions of a Christmas Carol. Plus you got your father's favorite, White Christmas.
My mistake on the Burl Ives/ Edmund Gwenn mixup.
ReplyDeleteLOVE Bad Santa. Cussing and all.
ReplyDeleteI'm a big fan of Christmas Vacation, and I think it's just about ready to be called a "classic" as far as popularity and age.
I think Elf might be joining that group eventually.
But other than that, I would think that making a good Christmas movie would be a very difficult thing to do. One that wouldn't end up on MST3K anyway.