February 8th - Wednesday - Dialogue Introduction: Have two characters introduce each other using only dialogue—no backstory, no internalization, just dialogue between the two. Max 250 words.
OK, so for this one you’re supposed to do something with dialog. I don’t really get what it means by “dialogue introduction”. Are they supposed to be introducing each other like at a cocktail party? Whatever. Here’s some dialog of a mother and daughter being reunited from Living Sacrifice, Tales of the Scarlet Knight Vol 7. Here's the Sims of them, though Louise should be littler, but whatever:
“I’m not going to hurt you. I only want to take you home.”
“I don’t want to go anywhere with you. I want Papa and Katarina.”
“I know this might be hard for you to accept, but I am your mommy.”
“No you’re not! Katarina is my mommy. Papa said so.”
“He lied to you, baby. I’m your real mother. That man with me was your real father. We came all the way from America to bring you back.”
“You’re lying!”
“I’m not. He took you from me just after you were born. He made me think you were dead. Mommy—Katarina—told me where you were so that your father and I could bring you back.”
“That’s not true. Papa wouldn’t lie to me. He loves me.”
“Your papa did love you. That’s why he lied to you.”
“No! You’re the liar.”
“Katya, look into my eyes. They’re just like yours.”
“Are not.”
“And you have your father’s nose. Louise Gladys Earl. That’s your real name.”
“My name is Katya! You’re not my mommy!”
“Katya, I want you to know I love you very much. I would have given anything for this not to have happened. See my hair? It turned white after I thought you had died. Before that it was red, though not as pretty as yours.”
“Why did it turn white?”
“Because I was very sad after I thought you died.”
“I'm sorry, Mommy. Don’t cry.”
“I won’t, baby. Everything’s going to be all right now.”
250 words exactly, bitches!
250 words exactly, bitches!
This was great. I really feel the energy between them. Nice job!
ReplyDeletesad part of the story but effective for intros for sure.
ReplyDeleteNice! Great job illustrating the emotion with just dialogue.
ReplyDeleteI'd cry, too, if I went from being an exotic person like "Katya" to a bowling-alley waitress with an old man's nose like "Louise Gladys Earl."
ReplyDeleteI haven't read any of your Scarlet Knight stuff yet, but correct me if I'm wrong: aren't these books the subject of your quintillion-dollar book deal, which means that we're about 2 years away from this hitting the big screen with what's-her-name from "The Hunger Games (Failed Movie Adaptation Version)" playing Katya Louise?
This is the 7th one so we're about 15 years away from that happening because there would be six before it and we have to break each one into three parts. Plus Katya/Louise is only 2 in this scene.
DeleteThe story behind her name is that Louise is her grandmother who was tragically gunned down--as you'll see on Friday (spoiler!) and Gladys was that Louise's sister who (spoiler) dies in the second book from natural causes. So when Emma had to figure out a name for her kid, she decided to honor her mom/aunt. Which is better than my brother and sister-in-law who name their kids after movies and episodes of "Law and Order: SVU."
Even without the pictures and the intro, I would get the relationship and the ages with just the dialogue. Not easy to do.
ReplyDeleteI pictured one of the speakers as a young Madonna about ready to sing, "Poppa don't preach...I'm in trouble deep..."
ReplyDeleteWell done. I pictured them easily in my head.
ReplyDeleteI'm a fellow campaigner. We are in the same group.
I feel like I got a good sense of your characters background. And I feel like you nailed a child's voice. Great job :)
ReplyDeleteLol, laughing at Michael's comment and now I can't get that out of my head. :)
ReplyDeleteGreat back and forth here :)
Wow, this is great. You really brought the background story and the voice out with just the dialogue.
ReplyDeleteI'm also in the urban fantasy group of the campaign.
I like this a lot, but I think the girl comes 'round a bit too quickly. I know there's a word limit but maybe you could suggest she's going to reach out to this woman without actually saying so. I've read a few of these from the Dialogue Contest and this is my favorite so far.
ReplyDeleteIn the novel it is more drawn out. I should go post that later to see how it compares and contrasts to this entry.
DeleteWell, I thought it was fantastic! I compared the original with the dialogue only and even with dialogue alone, it's powerful.
ReplyDeleteI've had that same conversation half a dozen times. It never gets easier.
ReplyDeleteI made that up. You learn to shut off the emotions after a while. It does get easier.
I kid.
Well done. If that's from volume seven then I think I should get a spoiled alert. This feels like stuff I shouldn't know yet.