Have I Seen You Lately

I haven't reviewed a movie since last Christmas and the last three I reviewed only because I got the DVD free off Amazon Vine.  The reason is as previously stated on the old blog I'm too lazy and cheap to go watch new movies anymore.  I was <this close> to seeing "Sherlock Holmes 2" but then it snowed that Saturday and I said the hell with it.  And I don't usually bother reviewing movies on DVD because there doesn't seem to be much to it.  But I'm bored so here are some mini-reviews of movies I've watched on Netflix Instant/Blockbuster over the last couple of weeks:  (Star ratings based on 4 stars)

1. Good Dick:  I think I put this in my Netflix queue just for the title.  It's a little indie picture about a woman who looks like a slightly older, slightly fatter Kristen Stewart who rents porn from a video store and then John Ritter's son (at least I think it was his son) who works at the video store tracks her down and convinces her to let him stay in her place.  It was a little muddled because we never really get the full story of what's going on with older/fatter Kristen Stewart or John Ritter's son.  They do a little "Lost in Translation" thing at the end which was kind of annoying because I would kind of like to be let in on the secret.  I mean I've been watching this for 80 minutes I think I deserve answers!  Anyway, probably would have been better if older/fatter Kristen Stewart had not written/produced/directed it. (2 stars)
2. Year of the Dog:  This movie might be a good warning to my cat hoarding sisters.  Only in this movie the lady has a thing for dogs.  Her dog goes to John C. Reilly's house and eats some snail bait and dies, and then since she has only one friend and no boyfriend her life goes on a downward spiral to where she starts hoarding dogs before becoming an environmental protestor and probably eventually an ecoterrorist.  I kept assuming this would have a happy ending, but it doesn't really.  Which is good in a way since it's not predictable but bad in that it's kind of a downer. (2 stars)
3. Margin Call:  It's an interesting look at how Wall Street collapsed in 2008 thanks to dirty dealings.  Though the movie itself felt a little oversimplified and phony.  It was better than "Wall Street 2" but that's not saying much. (3 stars)
4. The Next Three Days:  I missed it on DVD (and obviously in theaters) but finally saw it on Netflix and it was better than I thought.  It was like a heist movie where you're curious to see if he's going to get away with it and how he'll outsmart the cops.  It could have used to be about a half-hour shorter though.  (3 stars)
5. Season of the Witch:  Again missed this on DVD and theaters which was probably a good thing.  It was OK (though dumb) through the first 3/4 and then the last quarter just got even dumber.  So overall it wasn't very good. Which is what you expect from any Nicolas Cage action movie these days. (1.5 stars)
6. Red State:  This lived up to my expectations, which is to say it sucked.  It starts off like a redneck version of "Hostel" but then we lose track of the three kids to focus on the phony Westboro church and then John Goodman the ATF agent and the whole thing turns into a Waco standoff only dumber.  Kevin Smith should just go back to making Jay & Silent Bob movies. (1 star)
7. Catch-22:  I'm not an expert on Catch-22 like Briane Pagel, but I'm pretty sure the movie is not as good as the book.  I'm also pretty sure a lot of good stuff got cut out.  What was there was pretty good, though there were so many people to keep track of and I don't think the movie did a great job of that.  Like how Bob Newhart playing Major Major showed up for like two scenes and then disappeared.  The same for Martin Sheen's character too.  I think it got the point across, but you might as well read the book. (2.5 stars)
8. CSA:  Confederate States of America:  It was an interesting mockumentary of the history of America if the Confederacy had won the war.  But like most mockumentaries it started to feel a little long.  And like most alternate histories it feels pretty implausible.  (Why would the Confederacy have elected Kennedy?)  The most interesting part was the end where they talk about how all the products they advertised in fake commercials like "Darkie" toothpaste and "Niggerhair" cigarettes did in fact exist, many until the 1980s when I guess political correctness finally caught up to them.  Though I already knew about the Coon Chicken restaurants from watching "Ghost World."  (2.5 stars)
9. Escape From New York:  This was probably a lot better back in the '80s when it first came out.  It felt really dated, not only because it was supposed to be in 1997.  Just pretty meh overall. (2 stars)
10. The Hustler:  A good look at the world of pool hustling and also a portrait of a guy who learns some things are more important than pool.  This is a classic for a reason.  Though I still have no idea how they keep score in pool. (4 stars)
11. Swimming With Sharks:  I saw the preview for this on "Margin Call" where it seemed like a fun workplace comedy.  Actually it's a lot darker than that.  It's like "Office Space" if Peter Gibbons had gone to Lundbergh's house, tied him up, and tortured him.  So the movie feels uneven, but it's still not bad, especially when Kevin Spacey is being his usual snarky, grumpy self.  Blockbuster was begging me to keep it for only $4.49 so I did.  Movies they offer so cheap I feel bad for, like one of those dogs at the pound that's all sad and pathetic and you know it's getting euthanized the next day.  (2.5 stars)
12. Chinatown:  This was another classic movie that for the most part was good.  The end fell a little flat, though.  Jack Nicholson is no Humphrey Bogart, but he's OK as the PI trying to figure out what's going on with the LA water department.  Not as good as "LA Confidential" but still good. (3 stars)
13. Observe & Report:  I don't usually like Seth Rogen movies so I wasn't anxious to see this.  It wasn't as bad as I thought.  Kind of a Don Quixote story only with more violence, blood, sex, and f-bombs.  Rogen is Ronnie the mall security guard who fancies himself as something of a Dirty Harry and dreams of one day being a cop.  (All that's holding him back is he's dumb as a post, out of shape, and possibly insane.)  His Dulcinea is the chick who works at the department store makeup counter.  What I liked is first the movie's only 85 minutes and second is that Ronnie stays true to himself all the way through.  No big realizations because really he's too fucking dumb to have any epiphanies like that! (2.5 stars)   
14. Special:  Like the later "Kick-Ass", "Defendor", or "Super" it's about an ordinary loser named Les who thinks he's a superhero after having a psychotic episode triggered by an experimental anti-depression medicine.  As the movie goes on, Les's delusions become more severe and more dangerous.  What I found fault for is that for a guy who reads tons of comics Les seemed to know nothing about the superhero game.  What superhero goes around in daylight without a mask?  Duh.  Still, not a bad little indie picture. (3 stars) 

If you haven't seen any/all of these, maybe there's something to put on your queue or stay away from.  If you want more fully-realized movie reviews, you should go to Grumpy Bulldog Movie Reviews.